How May We Talk about Divorce?
April 17, 2005 - Matthew 19:1-12
Open It
Whose marriage do you most admire? Why?
What ingredients make for a happy marriage?
What factors tend to undermine a marriage and make a couple more susceptible to divorce?
Explore It
Where did Jesus go after telling the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant? (19:1)
Who accompanied Jesus? (19:2)
Who approached Jesus with the motive of testing Him? (19:3)
What trick question did the Pharisees ask Jesus? (19:3)
How did Jesus respond to the Pharisees' question? (19:4-6)
What did Jesus quote? Why? (19:4-5)
What did Jesus say is God's ideal for marriage? (19:6)
What follow-up question did Jesus' enemies ask? (19:7)
How did Jesus respond to the second question about divorce? (19:8)
Jesus allowed for divorce under what condition? (19:9)
What did the disciples think about Jesus' view of marriage and divorce? (19:10)
What did Jesus teach about those who never marry? (19:11-12)
Get It
What are the most devastating consequences of divorce?
Which would be worse: to be unhappily married or never to be married?
What is the ideal even in a marriage that was stained by adultery?
How does the previous passage (Matthew 18:21-35) have application in this one?
What do you think churches can and should do to build stronger marriages and to reduce the divorce rate among their members?
In what ways is singleness a great advantage?
How would you feel if you never married?
Apply It
What habits can you develop, beginning today, that will make you a better marriage partner?
How can you communicate to your children the sanctity and sacredness of the marriage relationship?
What specific service can you (and will you) render to God in the coming year because of the freedom your singleness permits?
Notes
Matthew 19:3-12: John was put in prison and killed, at least in part, for his public opinions on marriage and divorce, so the Pharisees hoped to trap Jesus too. They were trying to trick Jesus by having him choose sides in a theological controversy. Two schools of thought represented two opposing views of divorce. One group supported divorce for almost any reason. The other believed that divorce could be allowed only for marital unfaithfulness. This conflict hinged on how each group interpreted Deut. 24:1-4. In his answer, however, Jesus focused on marriage rather than divorce. He pointed out that God intended marriage to be permanent and gave four reasons for the importance of marriage (Matthew 19:4-6).
Matthew 19:7-8: This law is found in Deut. 24:1-4. In Moses' day, as well as in Jesus' day, the practice of marriage fell far short of God's intention. The same is true today. Jesus said that Moses gave this law only because of the people's hard hearts-permanent marriage was God's intention. But because sinful human nature made divorce inevitable, Moses instituted some laws to help its victims. These were civil laws designed especially to protect the women who, in that culture, were quite vulnerable when living alone. Because of Moses' law, a man could no longer just throw his wife out-he had to write a formal letter of dismissal. This was a radical step toward civil rights, for it made men think twice about divorce. Instead of looking for reasons to leave each other, married couples should concentrate on how to stay together (Matthew 19:3-9).
Matthew 19:10-12: Although divorce was relatively easy in Old Testament times (Matthew 19:7), it is not what God originally intended.
Matthew 19:12: A "eunuch" is an emasculated male-a man with no testicles.
Matthew 19:12: Some have physical limitations that prevent their marrying, while others choose not to marry because, in their particular situation, they can serve God better as single people. Jesus was not teaching us to avoid marriage because it is inconvenient or takes away our freedom. That would be selfishness. A good reason to remain single is to use the time and freedom to serve God. Paul elaborates on this in 1 Corinthians 7.