August 9, 2009

Lesson: Ephesians 6.1-9

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INTRODUCTION

1. As the pastor of First Congregational Church of Mukwonago, I was invited to speak to the members of the Mukwonago Women's Club.

1. I ask the leaders what they would like me to address.

1. They asked me to speak about the family.

2. I wondered what credentials did I have that enabled me to speak with some authority on the family?

1. Well, I am the oldest of six children from three marriages.

2. I was married for 17 with two children years and divorced.

3. I was single for five years.

4. I remarried and had two step-children.

2. That is a wealth of experience.

3. At the same time I did a lot of study on family systems so that I could better understand how to be a good father and step-father.

4. So am I qualified to speak about the family?

5. This is why this text this morning is so important.

A man was seated on a park bench when a small lad about 5 years old sat down and started winding what appeared to be a prized possession - a Mickey Mouse watch.

"What a neat watch! Does it tell you the time?" The stranger asked.

"No, you gotta look at it," said the boy.

2. Two week ago I mentioned that you would not find Ephesians 5.21-33 in the common lectionary.

1. I was right and I was wrong.

2. The first part of the lesson, verses 21-24 in not in the schedule of sermon texts, Verses 25-33 are included.

3. I did discover a number of pastors, a small number, from the conservative side of the aisle that preached on verses 21-24.

4. Well that's enough confession for one day.

3. This week we tackle Ephesians 6.1-9.

1. We are still talking about family.

1. The family includes much of what we spoke of two weeks ago.

2. Marriage ought to be mutual admiration society that includes:

1. Mutual trust

2. Mutual respect

3. Mutual goals

4. Mutual agenda.

2. This week the theme is Children and Parents

1. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

2. "Honor your father and mother"--this is the first commandment with a promise: "so that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth."

3. And, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

1. Provocation can take many forms.

2. Here is one from the Radio commentator Earl Nightingale ⁽¹⁾

He once told the story of an angry father shouting, "Why don't you grow up?" at his 12-year-old son.

The boy struggled to control his tears, but finally blurted out amid the sobs, "That's what I'm trying to do!"

4. This week, we look into the text and let the text speak to us.

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MAIN BODY:

1. It is all based on the premise that we ought to be honorable persons.

1. Children are to honor their parents by treating them with proper respect.

Two scientists were on a field trip in the mountains. They discovered a baby eagle in a nest on a jutting rock, just below the top of a dangerous cliff. The eaglet had been deserted, and they wanted to rescue it. They asked the young son of their guide if they could lower him on a rope to fetch the little bird. ⁽²⁾

The boy was not at all enthusiastic about their plan, so he declined. They offered him money, then doubled it, but still the boy refused.

Finally, one of the scientists asked in despair: "Well, then, how do you propose that we save the baby eagle?"

The mountain boy replied: "I'd be glad to go down to rescue the bird for free if you'll let my dad hold the rope."

1. This boy respected his dad.

2. This boy trusted his dad.

2. Children are to honor their parents by showing gratitude to them.

1. Gratitude is being thankful. ⁽³⁾

He was wrong. "I met you almost 30 years ago," the man said. "I was in high school, and I wanted to drop out. My parents asked you to talk to me one day because they thought I might listen to a ballplayer. They were right. I'm a lawyer now. I just wanted to tell you thanks."

On a stifling June afternoon in Philadelphia, New York Yankees Manager Joe Torre was about to step into the air-conditioned comfort of the players' entrance at Veterans Stadium when a middle-aged man called his name. Torre is not one of those celebrities who walk past people head down as if they didn't hear a thing. So he stopped, assuming he would be asked for an autograph.

Torre was pleased by the story, albeit a bit stunned. "I had a little, tiny, vague memory when he brought it up," he said. "But that was it."

Before he could take the last few steps to the players' entrance, Torre was stopped again, by a younger man. "Twenty years ago I had cancer," he said. "They thought I was terminal. You were with the Mets. You came to see me and gave me a pep talk. I never forgot it. When you were sick, I realized I never said thank you."

Again, Torre was rendered almost speechless.

[Later, he said,] "It makes you realize what all of us in sports can do if we put just a little effort into things. And I mean just a little. A word here, a pat on the back there, a phone call. Right or wrong, because of who we are and what we do, it can have a tremendous effect on people. It's something I wish we could all be a little bit more aware of."

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2. Parents provide for the needs of their children.

1. You feed them

2. You cloth them

3. You provide a roof over their heads.

4. You entertain them

5. You help them develop a broad horizon of interests and abilities.

3. They ought to be grateful and say thank you.

3. Children are to honor their parents by being obedient to them.

1. The text says "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right."

2. In the Lord is the qualifier.

1. Children do not have to obey if it leads to something that is immoral.

2. The same is true for anything that is illegal.

4. Children are to honor their parents by being helpful to them.

1. Sometimes helpfulness is reminding mom or dad that a new tact is needed in providing help.

2. Jim Burton was a pitcher with the Boston Red Socks.

Jim Burton said these words about being a father. "When I was young, baseball was my life. You can imagine the excitement I felt when my oldest son began playing. This game would be one of our main bonding mechanisms. If my son would just listen, I could help him be a great baseball player. Learning to read curve balls, shift his body weight with the swing, steal bases, turn double plays - these things separate the amateurs from the pros."

Burton said, "A pattern developed in our relationship. Because of my familiarity with the game, I saw every mistake my son made. In addition, I knew how to correct them.

"So post-game drives home became a critique of how to improve his game. It soon got old for my son. One night he finally said, 'DAD, COULD YOU NOT START BY TELLING ME EVERYTHING I DID WRONG. TELL ME WHAT I DID RIGHT FIRST.'"

3. To honor parents does not end.

Ultimately, caring for parents reminds us that the commandment to honor and love our elders never expires giving us the opportunity to love others as Christ has loved us.

Mollie Ziegler Hemingway in an article in Christianity Today writes about honoring parents.

Her friend recalled having to bathe his grandfather. "Being a typical self-absorbed college student I was not thrilled about the prospect," he said. But he quickly became mindful of Christ's humility and service towards us."

"'This is nothing compared to what Jesus had done for me-this was nothing compared to what my parents and grandparents had done for me. This is my vocation as son and grandson,' he said."

5. Children are to honor their parents by placing confidence in them.

1. Confidence is strong, it wanes and later returns.

Mark Twain said, "When I was a boy of 14 my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to the 21, I was astonished at how much the old man learned in 7 years."

2. Phil Majors discusses How Fathers Mature

1. Age 4 - My daddy can do anything.

2. Age 7 - My dad knows a whole lot.

3. Age 9 - Dad doesn't know quite everything.

4. Age 12 - Dad just doesn't understand.

5. Age 14 - Dad is old-fashioned.

6. Age 21 - Dad is out-of-touch.

7. Age 25 - Dad is O. K.

8. Age 30 - I wonder what Dad thinks about this.

9. Age 35 - I must get Dad's input first.

10. Age 50 - What would Dad have thought about that?

11. Age 60 - I wish I could talk it over with Dad once more.

6. Children are to honor their parents by attending to their instructions.

1. We seek to set a good example.

There's a wide-eyed little youngster
Who believes you're always right;
And his ears are always open,
And he watches day and night;
You are setting an example
Every day in all you do,
For the little one who's watching
To grow up and be like you!

2. We try to help children understand that they can accomplish much that may seem at first to be impossible.

In Norton Juster's children's classic The Phantom Tollbooth, Milo embarks on a quest to rescue the exiled princesses, Rhyme and Reason. ⁽⁴⁾

At the conclusion, returning successful after battling a delightful array of monsters such as the Senses Taker and the Terrible Trivium, he is greeted by a cheering crowd and a joyous parade in his honor. But Milo is reluctant to take credit.

But I could never have done it, he objected, without everyone else's help.

That may be true, said [Princess] Reason gravely, but you had the courage to try; and what you can do is often simply a matter of what you will do.

That's why, said Azaz, there was one very important thing about your quest that we couldn't discuss until you returned.

I remember, said Milo eagerly. Tell me now.

It was impossible, said the king, looking at the Mathematician.

Completely impossible, said the Mathematician, looking at the king.

Yes, indeed, they repeated together; but if we'd told you then, you might not have gone - and, as you've discovered, so many things are possible just as long as you don't know they're impossible.

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2. Parents are not to aggravate their children but bring them up in the nurture and disciple of the Lord.

1. Teach them about Jesus.

2. Teach them the principles of love and caring.

3. Don't let the weeds grow.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge once had a discussion with a man who firmly believed that children should not be given formal religious instruction, but should be free to choose their own religious faith when they reached maturity.

Coleridge did not disagree, but later invited the man into his somewhat neglected garden.

"Do you call this a garden?" the visitor exclaimed. "There are nothing but weeds here!"

"Well, you see," Coleridge, replied, "I did not wish to infringe upon the liberty of the garden in any way. I was just giving the garden a chance to express itself."

4. This is what you get when you let the weeds grow.

CONCLUSION:

1. If you do it all about right it will last a lifetime.

1. Windshield Wipers ⁽⁵⁾

One rainy afternoon mom was driving along one of the main streets of town, taking those extra precautions necessary when the roads are wet and slick.

Suddenly, my son Matthew spoke up from his relaxed position in the front seat: "Mom, I'm thinking of something."

This announcement usually meant he had been pondering some fact for a while, and was now ready to expound all that his seven-year-old mind had discovered. I was eager to hear.

"What are you thinking?" I asked.

"The rain," he began, "is like sin, and the windshield wipers are like God wiping our sins away."

After the chill bumps raced up my arms, I was able to respond.

"That's really good, Matthew."

Then my curiosity broke in. How far would my little boy take this revelation?

So I asked, "Do you notice how the rain keeps on coming? What does that tell you?"

Matthew didn't hesitate one moment with his answer: "We keep on sinning, and God just keeps on forgiving us."

I will always remember this whenever I turn my wipers on.

1. As quoted in James R. Oraker, Almost Grown: A Christian Guide for Parents of Teenagers (New York: Harper & Row, 1980), 62.

2. With thanks to Jim Moore, Houston, Texas.

3. John Feinstein, "Pride of the Yankees," The Washington Post Magazine, July 25, 1999, 7.

4. Norton Juster, The Phantom Tollbooth (New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1961), 247.

5. Mikey's Funnies [funnies-owner@lists.MikeysFunnies.com]