May 8, Mother's Day

Lesson: 1 Corinthians 13.4-8a

Sermon Title: Tough Love

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INTRODUCTION:

I stood next to the check-out counter at the General Store and looking at the display of Mother's Day cards.

There was one caught my eye.

Blonde, purple sun glasses, dressed in a red sweater, mauve jacket and a matching skirt is saying:

"I think we all know what it would mean to any mom to walk in the front door and find everything all clean and tidy."

Inside the rest read:

"It would mean that she's in the wrong house!"

  1. Mother's come in all shapes and sizes and with differing dispositions.

  2. So do Mother's Day sermons.

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MAIN BODY:

  1. There was a time when we honored Mother's without thought or consequences to the material that was used.

    1. Howard Johnson wrote the lyrics to a song titled "M-O-T-H-E-R (A Word That Means the World to Me)." It goes:

M-O-T-H-E-R (1)

I've been around the world, you bet, but never went to school
Hard knocks are all I seem to get, perhaps I've been a fool;
But still, some educated folks, supposed to be so swell,
Would fail if they were called upon a simple word to spell.
Now if you'd like to put me to the test,
There's one dear name that I can spell the best!

"M" is for the million things she gave me
"O" means only that she's growing old
"T" is for the tears she shed to save me
"H" is for her heart of purest gold
"E" is for her eyes with love-light shining
"R" means right and right she'll always be
Put them all together they spell MOTHER,
a word that means the world to me.

When I was but a baby, long before I learned to walk,
While lying in my cradle, I would try my best to talk;
It wasn't long before I spoke and all the neighbors heard,
My folks were very proud of me for "Mother" was the word.
Although I'll never lay a claim to fame,
I'm satisfied that I can spell the name:

"M" is for the mercy she possesses
"O" means that I owe her all I own
"T" is for her tender, sweet caresses
"H" is for her hands that made a home
"E" means ev'rything she's done to help me
"R" means real and regular, you see
Put them all together they spell MOTHER,
a word that means the world to me.

      1. Those words often brought a tear to the eye.

      2. It still does but for different reasons.

    1. There was a time when we honored mother's during worship by giving gifts.

      1. There were several categories:

        1. Oldest mother,

        2. The mother with the largest family.

        3. The youngest mother,

        4. The mother with the youngest child.

        5. We do not do this much anymore.

      2. The last time I remember suggesting it, the Board of Deacons voted this kind of remembrance down.

      3. It was offending too many people.

    2. In some conservative churches these practices are still followed, producing guilt and grief.

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  1. In this modern age the alternative as been to ignore Mother's Day, turn it into a family day, or to use a lot of humor.

    1. "Mom's List Of Things She Does Not Want To Hear"

      1. I swallowed the goldfish.

      2. Your lipstick works better than crayons.

      3. Does grape juice leave a stain?

      4. The principal called...

      5. But DAD says that word all the time!

      6. What's it cost to fix a window?

      7. Has anyone seen my earthworms?

      8. I painted your shoes pretty, huh Mommy?

      9. The dog doesn't like dressing up in your underwear.

      10. I'm running away from home. (Well, maybe some days.)

    2. Or try this one:

A Sunday School teacher asked her pupils, "Now, children, do you all say your prayers at night?"

A little boy answered: "My MUMMY says my prayers."

"I see," said the teacher, "and what does your Mummy SAY?"

Replied the little boy: "THANK GOD HE'S IN BED!"

    1. Here is another one:

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out, in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Mommy, why are some of your hairs white?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl was silent for a while, and then said, "Poor Grandma. You must have been a very, very bad girl."

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  1. Well, regardless, I thought this year we ought to talk about love.

    1. That appears to be a rather neutral subject.

    2. It is subject that we ought never to tire of hearing about.

    3. So let's talk about tough love.

    4. I would like to define tough love as something that is, in this case, not so much for other, as it is for ourselves.

  2. What are some of the characteristics of tough love.

    1. We can start with that portion of 1 Corinthians 13 that is our lesson for today.

4Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant 5or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. 7It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8aLove never ends, (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a, NRSVA).

      1. Immediately we run into a bit of trouble that is well-defined by Joseph Fletcher in his book, Situation Ethics.

"The word 'love' is a swampy one, a semantic confusion. Compare these statements: (1) 'See it now! Uncensored! Love in the raw!' (2) 'I just love that hat. Isn't it absolutely divine?' (3) 'Do you promise to love, honor, and obey?' (4) 'Aw, come on--just this once--prove your love.' (5) 'I love strawberries, but they give me a rash.' (6) 'So faith, hope, love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.' (7) 'And Jonathon loved David.'" (2)

        1. Just listen to the way in which "love" is used in the media.

        2. "Love" has become a superlative for "like"

        3. It is overused, washed-out, like a bleach-blond, confusing, and swampy.

        4. It is like walking in a swamp with person-eating alligators and water moccasins.

        5. The question is, "Can the word 'LOVE' be rehabilitated?"

        6. The answer is perhaps.

    1. Love is Intelligent

Whitney Gleaves, in "The Roots of American Disorder," (3) offers the following story:

In the spring of 1996, a 17-year-old high-school senior from Fremont, California, made national news when she did something remarkable. She achieved a perfect score (800) on both sections of the Scholastic Aptitude Test and a perfect 8,000 on the tough University of California acceptance index. Never in history has any one student accomplished this intellectual feat. At her high school, she is known as "Wonder Woman" because of her brains. And so far as I know, she's planning on attending Harvard this fall.

But what was interesting in the news story about this young woman was a little exchange between her and a reporter.

He asked her, "What is the meaning of life?"

She replied, "I have no idea."

      1. We know, don't we?

        1. We know because we know the source of love.

        2. We know because we know the power of love.

        3. We know because we know the purpose of love.

      2. We know, because we know Jesus Christ.

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    1. Love is Consistent

      1. Leith Anderson, Winning the Values War: Thirteen Distinct Values That Mark a Follower of Jesus Christ relates a story of consistency.

At the 100th anniversary of the arrival of missionaries in Zaire, Christians gathered to celebrate from that part of Zaire once called the Belgian Congo. (4) he festivities lasted all day with music, preaching, food and conversations. Many reminisced about the early days and praised God for the progress of the gospel and the church.

Near the end of the long program, a very old man stood to give a speech. He said that he soon would die and that he needed to tell something that no one else knew. If he didn't tell, his secret would go with him to his grave. He explained that when the first white missionaries came, his people didn't know whether to believe their message or not. So they devised a plan to slowly and secretly poison the missionaries and watch them die. One by one, children and adults became ill, died and were buried. It was when his people saw how these missionaries died that they decided to believe their message.

        1. The missionaries never knew what was happening.

        2. They didn't know they were being poisoned.

        3. They didn't know why they were dying.

        4. They didn't know they were martyrs.

        5. They stayed and died because they trusted Jesus.

        6. It was their consistency that taught others how to live in love.

      1. In the words of the poet John Hunter (1848-1917)

Dear Master, in whose life I see
All that I would, but fail to be,
Let thy clear light forever shine,
To shame and guide this life of mine.
Though what I dream and what I do
In my weak days are always two,
Help me, oppressed by things undone,
O thou, whose deeds and dreams were one.

    1. Love is Persistent

A duck waddles into a hardware store and says, "Hey, got any grapes?" (5)

The clerk says, "No, we don't have any grapes; now get out of here!"

The duck waddles out.

A little bit later he waddles back in and says, "Hey, got any grapes?"

The clerk says, "No, I told you already, and if you ask me again, I'm gonna nail your feet to the floor!"

So the duck waddles out.

Five minutes later the duck waddles back in and says, "Hey, got any nails?"

The clerk says, "No."

The duck says, "Good, got any grapes?"

      1. The story is an old one, but the point is well-made.

      2. I press on towards the mark of the high calling in Jesus Christ.

      3. I may stop and rest awhile, but I keep moving on.

      4. We are like the people in a wagon train headed from St. Louis, Missouri to Oregon City.

      5. If you truly desire to get to your destination, you have to deal not only with the joys, but also with the hardship.

      6. It would be shameful to give-up!

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    1. Love is Disciplined

      1. Matthew Fox, Original Blessing: A Primer in Creation Spirituality (6) describes discipline this way.

What is discipline? The word discipline comes from the word disciple. A disciple is one who is allured or attracted by another. Jesus' disciples were persons who met him, saw him interacting with others, heard him speak and were thereby attracted to him. Being attracted to him, they committed themselves to his company to learn more of the beauty they had intuited. This is the way it is with other artists as well. The pianist is somehow attracted to the music of the piano, and so the long hours of hard work at the instrument, until the back aches and the arms twinge and the fingers swell to become more muscular-all this pain is not counted. It is not called mortification or asceticism. It is discipline, a loving relationship that brings out the best in us. . . It is very important that we recover a spirituality of discipline that is very unlike a spirituality of asceticism (self-denial and/or austerity) on the one hand or a pseudo-spirituality of fear of labor on the other.

      1. M. Scott Peck relates an observation of a couple in his psychiatric practice where he speaks of the discipline of love. (7)

"...the energy for the work of self-discipline derives from love, which is a form of will. It follows then, not only that self-discipline is usually love, translated into action, but also that any genuine lover behaves with self-discipline an d any genuinely loving relationship is a disciplined relationship. If I truly love another, I will obviously order my behavior in such a way as to contribute the utmost to his or her spiritual growth.

"A young, intelligent, artistic and 'bohemian' couple with whom I once attempted to work had a four-year marriage marked by almost daily screaming, dish-throwing and face-clawing quarrels, along with weekly casual infidelity and monthly separations.

"Shortly after we began our work they each correctly perceived that therapy would lead them toward increasing self-discipline, and consequently to a less disorderly relationship. 'But you want to take the passion out of our relationship,' they said. 'Your notions of love and marriage leave no room for passion.'

"Almost immediately they quit therapy, and it was reported to me that three years later, after several bouts with other therapists, their daily screaming matches and the chaotic pattern of their marriage continued unchanged, as well as the unproductivity of their individual lives."

  1. Do we begin to understand that these characteristics of love are first of all for our selves, then for others.

    1. If we practice them we will possible achieve a great deal more than we have to this time.

    2. We will be happier and more content.

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CONCLUSION

  1. But we have one more, the last of all, Love is Trustworthy.

This story is told by Tim Ritter (8)

"A lovely villa rests on the shores of beautiful Lake Como in the Italian Alps. Some tourists complimented the trusted old gardener who had maintained the grounds for years.

'The owner must come here frequently,' one said.

'No,' he replied. 'He has been here only once in 15 years, and then I did not see him.'

'But how do you get your orders?'

'From the owner's agent, who lives in Milan.'

'Then he must come here often?'

'No, not often. Perhaps once a year or so.'

The tourist was amazed. 'You have no one to supervise your work, and the grounds are as neat as if you expected the owner to come back tomorrow!'

The old gardener firmly replied, 'Today, sir! Not tomorrow, but today.'

That gardener was faithful to his trust."

  1. We also can be faithful to the love invested in us and the trust that we have been given to share it on Mother's Day and all year long.

1. Lyrics by Howard Johnson, Music by Theodore Morse

2. Fletcher, Joseph, Situation Ethics: The New Morality, (Philadelphia, The Westminister Press, 1966) p. 15

3. Gleaves Whitney, "The Roots of American Disorder," Vital Speeches LXII (October 15, 1996), 17.

4. Leith Anderson, Winning the Values War: Thirteen Distinct Values That Mark a Follower of Jesus Christ (Minneapolis: Bethany House Publishers, 1995), 198.

5. World of Mouse e-mail from Cleopas55@aol.com January 15, 1997

6. Matthew Fox, Original Blessing: A Primer in Creation Spirituality (Santa Fe, New Mexico: Bear and Company, 1986), 206.

7. Peck, M. Scott, The Road Less Traveled, (New York: Simon and Schuster, 1978), pp. 155-156.

8. Tim Riter, Deep Down [1995], 134.)

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