SPECIAL DAYS: Father's Day

June 20, 2004 - Lesson: Ephesians 6.1-4, 10-12

SERMON TITLE: Respectfully Yours

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INTRODUCTION:

Dads-you think you're special, and you are. You think you're being honored, having one day out of the year dedicated to you? To keep life in perspective consider this: (1)

"Egg salad gets a whole week. As do pickles, pancakes, pickled peppers, split pea soup, clowns, carpenter ants and aardvarks. Peanut butter (March), chickens (September) and oatmeal (January) each rate an entire month.

"Fathers can draw solace from the fact that along with themselves, such national treasures as the rubber eraser and moles also merit only a single day of recognition."

  1. What should we speak about on Father's Day.

    1. Feel good without any substance.

    2. Substance with Guilt.

    3. Why can't we have substance with feel good?

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MAIN BODY:

  1. Feel good with no substance.

    1. You can approach this day with humor and self-depreciation.

Here is today's Illustration. (2)

In 1900, fathers prayed their children would learn English.
Today, fathers pray their children will speak English.

In 1900, if a father put a roof over his family's head, he was a success.
Today, it takes a roof, deck, pool, and 4-car garage. And that's just the vacation home.

In 1900, a father waited for the doctor to tell him when the baby arrived.
Today, a father must wear a smock, know how to breathe, and make sure film is in the video camera.

In 1900, fathers passed on clothing to their sons.
Today, kids wouldn't touch Dad's clothes if they were sliding naked down an icicle.

In 1900, fathers could count on children to join the family business.
Today, fathers pray their kids will soon come home from college long enough to teach them how to work the computer and set the VCR.

In 1900, fathers pined for old country Romania, Italy, or Russia.
Today, fathers pine for old country Hank Williams.

In 1900, fathers shook their children gently and whispered, "Wake up, it's time for school."
Today, kids shake their fathers violently at 4 a.m., shouting: "Wake up, it's time for hockey practice."

In 1900, a father came home from work to find his wife and children at the supper table.
Today, a father comes home to a note: "Jimmy's at baseball, Cindy's at gymnastics, I'm at gym, Pizza in fridge."

In 1900, fathers and sons would have heart-to-heart conversations while fishing in a stream.
Today, fathers pluck the headphones off their sons' ears and shout, "WHEN YOU HAVE A MINUTE.."

In 1900, a father gave a pencil box for Christmas, and the kid was all smiles.
Today, a father spends $800 at Toys 'R' Us, and the kid screams: "I wanted Sega!"

Here is today's CleanLaugh.

Top 10 Things You'll Never Hear Dad Say

  1. Well, how 'bout that? I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.

  1. You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun?

  1. I noticed that all your friends have a certain hostile attitude. I like that.

  1. Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car. GO CRAZY!!

  1. What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating's not good enough for you, son?

  1. Your mother and I are going away for the weekend. You might want to consider throwing a party.

  1. Well, I don't know what's wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies--ya know--that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.

  1. No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring. Now quit your belly-aching, and let's go to the mall.

  1. Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend.

  1. What do I want for Father's Day? Aahh, don't worry about that. It's no big deal. (Okay, they might say it. But they don't mean it)

    1. Does this trivialize Father's Day?

      1. It may.

      2. It is only one way of approaching it.

      3. Perhaps we like this better than the next one.

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  1. Substance with guilt.

    1. Paul Harvey has written, "What Is a Father?"

A father is a thing that is forced to endure childbirth, without an anesthetic.

A father is a thing that growls when it feels good -- and laughs when it's scared half to death.

He never feels entirely worthy of the worship in a child's eyes. He's never quite the hero his daughter thinks--never quite the man his son believes him to be--and this worries him, sometimes. So he works too hard to try and smooth the rough places in the road for those of his own who will follow him.

Fathers grow old faster than people. Because they have to stand at the airport and wave good-bye to the uniform that climbs aboard. And while mothers can cry where it shows, fathers have to stand there and beam outside--and die inside.

Fathers have very stout hearts, so they have to be broken sometimes or no one would know what's inside.

Fathers are what give daughters away to other men who aren't nearly good enough--so they can have grandchildren that are smarter than anybody's.

Fathers fight dragons--almost daily. They hurry away from the breakfast table; off to the arena which is sometimes called an office or a workshop. There with calloused, practiced hands they tackle the dragon with three heads: Weariness, Work, and Monotony. And they never quite win the fight but they never give up.

Knights in shining armor--fathers in shiny trousers --there's little difference, as they march away to work each workday.

    1. In Home Life Magazine there was an article titled, "Father's Ten Tenets for Building His Children's Future". (3)

      1. He makes himself responsible for his child's behavior.

      2. He share in his child's activities

      3. He makes his child feel secure

      4. He has his child's complete confidence

      5. He is never blinded by love to his child's faults--he knows he serves his child's interest best by recognizing and correcting weakness.

      6. He is always available to help solve youthful problems.

      7. He does not demand finial devotion -- he wins it.

      8. He recognizes and accepts as largely his, responsibility for the child's mental and spiritual development.

      9. He contributes to making the home his child's heaven and the church his child's spiritual home.

      10. He strives to be the man his child thinks he is.

    2. This is the whole load.

    3. How am I going to live up to this litany of qualities and qualifications?

    4. I don't.

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  1. Why can't we have feel good with substance.

    1. Perhaps there is a way to reduce guilt and find some substance.

    2. Christianity also seeks to establish the greatest force for good and change in the world.

      1. It is not law.

        1. Law has a tendency to be applied rigorously, often without mercy.

        2. God describes law as a schoolmaster whose purpose is to lead us to Christ.

        3. In Christ there is no "law."

      2. It is love which is the greatest.

    3. The strength, tenderness and beauty of love is called upon in our lesson from Ephesians.

      1. Children ought to obey

1Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2"Honor your father and mother"--this is the first commandment with a promise: 3"so that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth."

4And, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his power. 11Put on the whole armor of God, so that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12For our struggle is not against enemies of blood and flesh, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers of this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places, (Ephesians 6:1-4, 10-12, NRSVA).

Helga was gone for the day, and my son Leslie came to visit.

We talked for a long time, and then decided to walk over to Culver's for something to eat.

Along the way I came to a conclusion that I hoped would lead to a change in the better of our relationship and the development of some mutual respect.

This is the son that one father's day sent me a copy of Harry Chapin's song, "Cats in a Cradle."

A child arrived just the other day,
He came to the world in the usual way.
But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay.
He learned to walk while I was away.
And he was talking 'fore I knew it, and as he grew,
He'd say, "I'm gonna be like you, dad.
You know I'm gonna be like you."

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then.
You know we'll have a good time then."

My son turned ten just the other day.
He said, "Thanks for the ball, dad, come on let's play.
Can you teach me to throw?" I said, "Not today,
I got a lot to do." He said, "That's ok."
And he walked away, but his smile never dimmed,
Said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah.
You know I'm gonna be like him."

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then.
You know we'll have a good time then."

Well, he came from college just the other day,
So much like a man I just had to say,
"Son, I'm proud of you. Can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head, and he said with a smile,
"What I'd really like, dad, is to borrow the car keys.
See you later. Can I have them please?"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then, dad.
You know we'll have a good time then."

I've long since retired and my son's moved away.
I called him up just the other day.
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind."
He said, "I'd love to, dad, if I could find the time.
You see, my new job's a hassle, and the kid's got the flu,
But it's sure nice talking to you, dad.
It's been sure nice talking to you."
And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me,
He'd grown up just like me.
My boy was just like me.

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then, dad.
You know we'll have a good time then."

He didn't remember all the times that we had together and the trips we took, the camping, going to the thresharee, and more.

My decision, that I shared with him, was that I would not longer relate to him as a parent, but as an adult.

You will always be a parent, but somewhere you have to let the child grow up and grow away.

In this way you can concentrate on the relationship and not on your unfulfilled hopes and dreams.

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CONCLUSION:

  1. Perhaps this is best understood in the poem, "Reflections of a Father." (4)

I can give you life, but only you can live it.

I can teach you things, but only you can learn.

I can give you directions, hut I can't he there to lead you.

I can allow you freedom, but I can't account for it.

I can take you to church, hut only you can believe.

I can teach you right from wrong, but the choice will always be yours.

I can buy you beautiful clothes, but I can't make you beautiful inside.

I can offer you advice, but only you can accept it.

I can teach you to share, but only you can be unselfish.

I can teach you respect, but only you can show honor.

I can advise you about friends, but I can't choose them for you.

I can advise you about sex, but I can't keep you pure.

I can teach you the facts of life, but I can't build your reputation.

I can tell you about alcohol, but only you can choose to be sober.

I can warn you about drugs, but only you can say 'no.'

I can tell you about lofty goals, but I can't achieve them for you.

I can teach you about kindness, but I can't force you to be gracious.

I can warn you about sins, but I can't make you moral.

I can pray for you, but only you can choose God.

I can teach you about Jesus, but only you can choose Him as Lord.

I can tell you how to live, but I can't give you eternal life.

I can love you unconditionally all of my life...and I will!

1. Retrieved from Homiletics on line. Used with permission.

2. Pastor Tim [posts@cybersaltlists.org]

3. Home Life Magazine

4. Charles (Pop) Avery ©2002 by author Reprinted with permission

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