February 13, 2000 - LESSON Hebrews 12.14-15

SERMON TITLE: How Many Times?

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INTRODUCTION:

  1. HOMEFRONT After saying 'I'm sorry,' what comes next?, Marilyn Gardner(1)
    1. Two twenty-something men relaxing at Starbucks in Boston on Monday were having an earnest discussion about the pros and cons of saying "I'm sorry."
      1. "It's OK to apologize," one told the other authoritatively.
      2. "But you don't want to overdo it."
      3. In his pre-millennial approach to contrition, groveling is out. Coolness is in.
    2. Similarly, Beltway masters of spin control like to hide behind the, the pronoun-free statement, "Mistakes were made."
      1. This artful construction includes no hint of guilt or remorse and leaves no fingerprints at the scene of the alleged crime.
      2. It's as though Eric Segal's classic line, "Love is never having to say you're sorry," has been updated to read, "Politics is never having to say you're sorry."
  2. Bill Keane who draws the Family Circus, provides a different prospective
    1. One day he was penciling one of his Family Circus cartoons and his own little Jeffrey asked, "Daddy, how do you know what to draw?"
    2. Bill Kean said, "God tells me."
    3. Jeffrey said, "Then why do you keep erasing parts of it?"

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  3. We all draw lines.
    1. So many different types of lines
      1. Passionate
      2. Defining
      3. Protective
      4. Angry
      5. Boxes in which to put people
      6. Circles with which to protect ourselves
      7. Triangles which include friends but not enemies.
      8. Lines in the sand which we dare people to cross.
    2. Life is full of lines drawn this way and that
    3. Lines of conclusions based on the understanding of the moment.
      1. Moral lines
      2. Ethical lines
      3. People lines
      4. Theological lines which define our religious beliefs and actions.
  4. Jeffrey's question confronts us, "Why do you keep erasing parts of it."
    1. Sounds like there is a need to make corrections.
    2. Making corrections sounds a lot like asking for forgiveness.
  5. This week let us use the same format that we did last week and seek to apply forgiveness to:
    1. God
    2. Family
    3. Marriage
    4. Church

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MAIN BODY:

  1. We need forgiveness with God
    1. We do need forgiveness.

      If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us, (1 John 1:8 NRSV).

      1. Sin is a contravention of the relationship with God.
      2. Sin is selfishness
      3. It is to be unloving, instead of loving.
    2. God does not provide unrestricted forgiveness.
    3. Forgiveness is conditional.
      1. If you ask you will be forgiven

If we confess our sins, he who is faithful and just will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness, (1 John 1:9, NRSV).

      1. If you are willing to forgive you will be forgiven.

For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses, (Matthew 6:14-15, NRSV).

"Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone; so that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses," (Mark 11:25, NRSV).

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      1. If you are humble you will be forgiven.

        "Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, was praying thus, 'God, I thank you that I am not like other people: thieves, rogues, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give a tenth of all my income.' But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even look up to heaven, but was beating his breast and saying, 'God, be merciful to me, a sinner!' I tell you, this man went down to his home justified rather than the other; for all who exalt themselves will be humbled, but all who humble themselves will be exalted," (Luke 18:10-14, NRSV).
      2. We are reminded of this conditionality each time we repeat the Lord's Prayer.

        And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors, (Matthew 6:12, NRSV).
    1. We can be thankful and rejoice that our God is a forgiving God.
  1. We need forgiveness in the Family
    1. Beckah Fink from Texas wrote to Dear Abby about a father's forgiveness and a son's need to forgive himself.(2)
      1. "A young man from a wealthy family was about to graduate from high school. It was the custom in that affluent neighborhood for the parents to give the graduate an automobile.
      2. 'Bill' and his father had spent months looking at cars, and the week before graduation they found the perfect car.
      3. Bill was certain that the car would be his on graduation night.
      4. "Imagine his disappointment when, on the eve of his graduation, Bill's father handed him a gift-wrapped Bible!
        1. Bill was so angry, he threw the Bible down and stormed out of the house.
        2. He and his father never saw each other again.

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      5. It was the news of his father's death that brought Bill home again.
      6. "As he sat one night, going through his father's possessions that he was to inherit, he came across the Bible his father had given him.
        1. He brushed away the dust and opened it to find a cashier's check, dated the day of his graduation - in the exact amount of the car they had chosen together."
    2. Ethicist Lewis Smedes(3) tells this story about his difficulty in dealing with something he did to his mother.
      1. The Smedes were very poor. His father died at 31, leaving a wife with no skills, no knowledge of English and six children to feed.
      2. She took in washing and ironing and scrubbed floors.
      3. But in her pride, she tried to prevent her children from knowing how she earned money.
      4. In their pride in her, Smedes says he "wanted most of all to get my mother to approve of me.
      5. Close behind her was God. I could never keep the difference between them clear."
      6. One day on the way to school, fourth-grader Smedes saw her on her hands and knees scrubbing someone's porch.
      7. She saw him. "Hello, Lewis" is all she said and then resumed scrubbing.
      8. "I was ashamed [of her] and she knew I was ashamed."
      9. All his adult life he has "been shadowed by shame for having been ashamed of her" (108).
      10. He remembered that moment and the fact that he once wronged a great woman.
        1. It took a lot of counseling and reflection to discover that the depressions he suffered all his life were related to the guilt he still felt - for being ashamed of his mother.
        2. ...alone, dangling over the edge, falling where nobody could rescue me with the good news that I was good enough for them to approve of me...I fell into my own abyss.

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      11. And I fell into the hands of God.
        1. And that made all the difference.
        2. Smedes writes, "Have you fallen into the hands of God the forgiver?"
  2. We need forgiveness in Marriage
    1. I'm Sorry, John Denver(4)

      It's cold here in the city
      It always seems that way
      And I've been thinking about you almost everyday
      Thinking about the good times
      Thinking about the rain
      Thinking about how bad it feels alone again

      I'm sorry for the way things are in China
      I'm sorry things ain't what they used to be
      But more than anything else
      I'm sorry for myself
      'Cause you're not here with me

      Our friends all ask about you
      I say you're doing fine
      And I expect to hear from you almost anytime
      But they all know I'm crying
      And I can't sleep at night
      They all know I'm dying down deep inside

      I'm sorry for all the lies I told you
      I'm sorry for the things I didn't say
      But more than anything else
      I'm sorry for myself
      I can't believe you went away

      I'm sorry if I took some things for granted
      I'm sorry for the chains I put on you
      But more than anything else
      I'm sorry for myself
      For living without you

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    2. (Ephesians 4:26-27 NRSV) Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not make room for the devil.
    3. Without forgiveness and reconciliation, How can you sleep?
  3. We need forgiveness in the Church.
    1. It is the only means by which rebellious and contrary human beings can learn to live together in peacefulness.
    2. I recently read that there are 30,800 recognized Christian denominations in the world.
    3. How many opinions exist within each denomination?
      1. There is an old saying that "If you have two Congregationalists you have three opinions."
      2. We need some method of creating reconciliation and restoration.
      3. The only means we have is forgiveness.
    4. Jesus clearly lays out the process:
      1. "If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone.
      2. If the member listens to you, you have regained that one.
      3. But if you are not listened to, take one or two others along with you, so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses.
      4. If the member refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and
      5. if the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector, Matthew 18:15-17, NRSV.

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    5. Paul writing in Colossians put it in the prospective of the forgiveness that we have received from God.
      1. As God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive, Colossians 3:12-13, NRSV.

CONCLUSION:

  1. So how many times?
    1. How many times ought you to ask for forgiveness?
    2. How many times ought forgiveness to be granted.
      1. Then Peter came and said to him, "Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive?
      2. As many as seven times?"
      3. Jesus said to him, "Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times, Matthew 18:21-22, NRSV.
  2. We ought not ever get tired of asking or receiving or offering forgiveness.
    1. The atmosphere of forgiveness ought to permeate our lives.
    2. It prevents us from being overly sensitive.
    3. It prevents us from becoming to proud.
    4. It prevents us from becoming high-minded
    5. It prevents us from becoming too exclusive.
    6. It helps us to truly be children of God.

1. HOMEFRONT After saying 'I'm sorry,' what comes next?, Marilyn Gardner, (c) Copyright 1999 The Christian Science Publishing Society. All rights reserved.

2. "Dear Abby," Rocky Mountain News, 2 September 1992, 55.

3. Smedes, A Pretty Good Person (San Francisco: Harper and Row, 1990), 107-109.

4. Copyright 1975 Cherry Lane Music Co. (ASCAP), From the albums WINDSONG and John Denver's GREATEST HITS #2

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