August 22, 1999 - LESSON: Ephesians 4:31-32

SERMON TITLE: Forgiving as?

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INTRODUCTION:

  1. Bumper Sticker
    1. "I still miss my ex-husband, but my ain is getting better."(1)
    2. I do not know what is being sent, but it doesn't sound complementary.
    3. Her aim is getting better, but it would be much better if.

MAIN BODY:

  1. In the lesson for today, what is it that Paul encourages
    1. "Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice," (Ephesians 4:31, NRSV)
    2. What this is described here are some of the elements that can mask reality, create tension, and cause severe disturbance in our lives and relationships
      1. We have a small radio in our cabin in Door County.
        1. Admittedly reception is not the greatest
        2. There is a lot of static
        3. Static is the interference which does not allow the program to be heard clearly
      2. Bitterness, wrath, anger, wrangling and slander are static that interferes with one of the most important components of life, and specifically the Christian life
    3. This most important component is forgiveness
    4. Paul continues in Ephesians 4: 32:
      1. "and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you" (Ephesians 4:32, NRSV).
      2. Forgiveness is not alone for the other, it is also for the self.
      3. Forgiveness is not saying the offense never happened. It did
      4. Forgiveness is not saying that everything is okay. It isn't
      5. Forgiveness is not saying that we no longer feel the pain of the offense. We do.
      6. Forgiveness is not forgetting the wrong or the pain caused by the offense. We do not forget.
      7. Forgiveness is saying that you are willing to remove from the experience the bitterness, wrath, anger, wrangling, and slander.
        1. Forgiveness is saying that I will not use these destructive elements against you.
        2. I will not use them against you even though you may continue to use them against me.

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  2. Forgiveness is a marvelous subject.
    1. It is easy to talk about, but difficult to accomplish, and impossible to fully accomplish without the help of God.
    2. God provides the model.
      1. "forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you." (Ephesians 4:32b, NRSV).
    3. We want to be forgiven.
    4. We pray for forgiveness.
    5. In Luke's version of the Lord's Prayer we read:
      1. "And forgive us our sins," (Luke 11:4a, NRSV).
    6. We also offer forgiveness.
      1. "for we ourselves forgive everyone indebted to us," (Luke 11:4b, NRSV).
    7. We recognize that the second statement is dependent on the first.
  3. There is no forgiveness with without being forgiving.
    1. If we do not have a forgiving spirit, how can we sincerely ask for forgiveness.
    2. We probably will not, except for the extreme case, even seek forgiveness.
  4. This it is important to avoid forgiving technicalities.
    1. How many time ought one to be forgiven.
      1. Peter ask this question and he proposed what to him was excessive: 7 times.
      2. Jesus responded in Matthew 18:22 (NRSV), not seven times, but seventy times seven.

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    2. How many times has God forgiven me or you?
      1. A hundred, a thousand, a million (perhaps that is more than a lifetime, but I wonder)
      2. And is all of this how may sins does God remember?

Desmond Tutu, in his An African Prayer Book(2) tells a story about a man who particular besetting sin, and he used to confess it and God would forgive him.

But no sooner had he been absolved than he would trip up and sin again. One day this happened, and he rushed back to God and said, "I'm sorry, I've done it again."

And God asked, "What have you done again?" For God suffers from amnesia when it comes to our sins.

    1. This probably does not sit well with some people.
      1. We want forgiveness and retribution.
      2. Jesus tells the story of the unforgiving servant in Matthew 18:

23 "For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves.

24 When he began the reckoning, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him;

25 and, as he could not pay, his lord ordered him to be sold, together with his wife and children and all his possessions, and payment to be made.

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26 So the slave fell on his knees before him, saying, 'Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.'

27 And out of pity for him, the lord of that slave released him and forgave him the debt.

28 But that same slave, as he went out, came upon one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and seizing him by the throat, he said, 'Pay what you owe.'

29 Then his fellow slave fell down and pleaded with him, 'Have patience with me, and I will pay you.'

30 But he refused; then he went and threw him into prison until he would pay the debt.

31 When his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their lord all that had taken place.

32 Then his lord summoned him and said to him, 'You wicked slave! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me.

33 Should you not have had mercy on your fellow slave, as I had mercy on you?'

34 And in anger his lord handed him over to be tortured until he would pay his entire debt.

35 So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart."

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    1. Jesus tells this story to remind us that we are to forgive as God has forgiven us.
  1. We can achieve the lofty and God-like goal of forgiving as God has forgiven us.
    1. Here are some examples:
      1. Lloyd LeBlanc told me (Sister Helen Prejean, Dead Man Walking(3)) that he would have been content with imprisonment for Patrick Sonnier [the killer of his son, David]. He went to the execution, he says, not for revenge, but hoping for an apology.
        1. Patrick Sonnier didn't disappoint him. Before sitting in the electric chair, he said, "Mr. LeBlanc, I want to ask your forgiveness for what me and Eddie done," and Lloyd LeBlanc nodded his head, signaling a forgiveness he had already given. He says that when he arrived with sheriff's deputies there in the cane field to identify his son, he knelt by his boy--"lying down there with his two little eyes sticking out like bullets"--and prayed the Our Father. And when he came to the words: "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us," he had not halted or equivocated, and he said, "Whoever did this, I forgive them."

But he acknowledges that it's a struggle to overcome the feelings of bitterness and revenge that well up, especially as he remembers David's birthday year by year and loses him all over again

Forgiveness is never going to be easy. Each day it must be prayed for and struggled for and won.

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    1. It can be won because.
      1. Let L. Gregory Jones, Embodying Forgiveness: A Theological Analysis(4) tell the story of a Turkish officer raided and looted an Armenian home.

He killed the aged parents and gave the daughters to the soldiers, keeping the eldest daughter for himself.

Some time later she escaped and trained as a nurse. As time passed, she found herself nursing in a ward of Turkish officers.

One night, by the light of a lantern, she saw the face of this officer. He was so gravely ill that without exceptional nursing he would die.

The days passed, and he recovered. One day, the doctor stood by the bed with her and said to him, "But for her devotion to you, you would be dead."

He looked at her and said, "We have met before, haven't we?"

"Yes," she said, "We have met before."

"Why didn't you kill me?" he asked.

She replied, "I am a follower of him who said 'Love your enemies.'"

    1. We are the followers of the one who invited us to pray, "Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.

CONCLUSION:

  1. The results, you may find, can be amazing.

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    1. Johann Christoph Arnold, Seeking Peace,(5) writes abut a legend that took place on a Christmas Eve.

Brother Angelo cleans his simple mountain hut and decorates it for Mass. He says his prayers, sweeps the hearth, hangs a kettle over the fire, and then sits back to wait for Brother Francis, whom he expects later in the day.

Just then three outlaws appear at the door, begging for food.

Frightened and angry, Brother Angelo sends them away empty-handed, scolding and warning them that thieves are damned to hell fire.

When Francis arrives, he senses that something is not right.

Brother Angelo then tells him about his visitors, and Francis sends him up into the mountains with a jug of wine and a loaf, to find them and ask their forgiveness.

Brother Angelo is indignant. Unlike Francis, he cannot see the wild men as brothers -- only as outlaws.

He sets out obediently, however, and by nightfall (having followed the men's footsteps in the snow), he finds them and makes amends.

Some time later, the legend goes, they leave their cave and join the order.

    1. Forgive others as God has forgiven you.
      1. Hard! Yes!
      2. Possible, Yes!
      3. Life-giving, Yes!
      4. Relationship building, Yes!
      5. Joy-filling, Yes!
  1. Be forgiving, Yes!

1. Barbara Johnson, Mama get the hammer, there's a fly on papa's head, (Waco: Word Publishing, 1994), p. 23 (Courtesy of Stan Gremes, editor Mountain Ear bulletin of the Rotary Club, Gatlinburg, TN)

2. Desmond Tutu, An African Prayer Book (New York: Doubleday, 1995), 38.

3. Sister Helen Prejean, Dead Man Walking (New York: Vintage Books, 1994), 244-245.

4. L. Gregory Jones, Embodying Forgiveness: A Theological Analysis (Grand Rapids, Mich.: Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1995), 265-266.

5. Johann Christoph Arnold, Seeking Peace (Farmington: The Plough Publishing House, 1998), 108.

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