Why are you being married (Try to define your reasons.)?

Why, out of all the people that you could have married, have you chosen to marry this particular person?

What personal characteristics and/or qualities does she/he possess that attract you?

Are there any personal characteristics and/or traits that concern you?

What, do you believe, is the purpose of marriage?

What do you hope to accomplish by getting married?

What, do you believe, you will need to do to achieve your hopes in question 4?

In your own words, and from your own personal experience, define to your satisfaction, your meaning of love.

Describe your fiancé’s attitudes towards:

1. Money
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2. Debt:
   

3. Sex:
   

4. Male/female roles:
   

5. Children:
   

Are you basing your decision to marry your fiancé as she/he is now, or on the changes you hope to help him/her to be able to create, or on what she or he promises to be?

What is your fiancé willing to do to enrich your life? (How does she/he nurture or feed your relationship.)

Does your fiancé ever play the role of a martyr or victim? (A martyr is one who makes a great show of suffering, often unnecessarily, to gain the sympathy or support of another person. A victim is one who blames a problem, a condition, or an action on other people or circumstances, rather than taking personal responsibility.)

Is it necessary for you to prove your love for your fiancé. (What kinds of words or actions does your fiancée require of you as proof of your declaration of love?)

What is your fiancée doing to improve his or her own life? ( Using social, educational, recreational or other opportunities to expand areas of interest or skill.)

How does your fiancée resolve personal issues? (What methods are used to handle and resolve conflict, disagreements, etc.)

Is your fiancé supportive in encouraging the development of your interests and projects. Or is he/she mainly interested in his or her own interests.

Does your fiancé mean what is said and say what he/she meant to say, or are there confusing or conflicting messages where you thought you understood and did not because the message was unclear?

Are there subjects for discussion that you would like to talk about in these sessions that you have not yet had the opportunity to explore? If so, list one or two of them.

Are you satisfied with the way in which you have understood your answers to the above questions? (A sense of unease or concern could imply that further discussion might be helpful in exploring issues that may have a significant impact on your future married life.)

Please check the box of the number on the scale that indicates your comfort level with your decision to marry: 1 is very comfortable; 10 is very uncomfortable.

1. We have developed the ability to communicate our deepest plans and needs.
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2. We believe that our expectations for a long and happy life will be realized through our marriage.
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3. We have a clear and well–discussed plan of how we will finance our married life.
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4. We are interested in doing not only what each other individually wants, but also in doing the many things that we share.
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5. We have developed the ability and desire to quickly work together to settle our differences of opinion and viewpoint
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6. We are beginning to understand each other’s emotional nature and needs.
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7. We have a clear understanding of each other’s sexual attitudes and have discussed future needs.
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8. We have an adequate working relationship with our parents and future in–laws.
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9. We have a good understanding of each other’s religious background and attitude towards the religious roots, and some awareness of the importance that one’s faith can play in helping to create and maintain a successful marriage.
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