July 26, Parents Day

Lesson: Ephesians 5.21-33

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INTRODUCTION

1. You won't find this text used in the Common Lectionary.

1. You probably will not hear many pastor's speaking on Ephesians 5.21-33.

2. I should probably skip it, but I cannot.

3. I promised to preach through this Epistle, not skipping a part.

4. So, we are speaking about marriage.

Guardian Angel on the Job ⁽¹⁾

A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."

The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.

He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die."

The man did as he was instructed, and a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.

"Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?"

"I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.

"Oh yeah?" the man asked. "And where in the world were you when I got married?"

2. The topic is submission.

1. I searched the Bible and there is no other choice of words.

1. Be in subjection (ASV)

2. Under the authority (BBE)

3. Submit yourselves (Darby)

4. place yourselves under authority (GW)

5. be submissive (MNT)

6. be subject (NASB)

7. submit (NLT)

8. subject yourself (YLT)

2. Even the Bible dictionary confirms this conclusion.

1. Submit: Strongs Hebrew and Greek Dictionaries

: hupotassoô (hoop-ot-as'-so) From G5259 and G5021; to subordinate; reflexively to obey:--be under obedience (obedient), put under, subdue unto, (be, make) subject (to, unto), be (put) in subjection (to, under), submit self unto.

2. That is the conclusion to the whole matter.

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MAIN BODY:

1. I do not like the word submit, submission.

1. I have said this before.

2. The implications are to be found in the context of the usage.

1. Dictionary: Submit, -verb (used with object)

1. to give over or yield to the power or authority of another (often used reflexively).

2. to subject to some kind of treatment or influence.

3. to present for the approval, consideration, or decision of another or others: to submit a plan; to submit an application.

4. to state or urge with deference; suggest or propose (usually fol. by a clause): I submit that full proof should be required. -verb (used without object)

5. to yield oneself to the power or authority of another: to submit to a conqueror.

6. to allow oneself to be subjected to some kind of treatment: to submit to chemotherapy.

7. to defer to another's judgment, opinion, decision, etc.: I submit to your superior judgment.

2. This appears to define a loss of freedom of independence

2. I prefer the word cooperation.

1. Cooperation requires a certain loss of independence.

1. Cooperation excludes independence.

1. Take My Life and Let It Be...

2. Let it be has another meaning today, a different meaning than the total submission of Mary in Luke 1:38: Let it be to me according to your word

3. A different meaning even than that Stuart Hamblen gospel song: I am weak, but thou art strong; Savior keep me from all wrong; ... Let it be, dear Lord, let it be.

4. Even different from that John Lennon, Paul McCartney song: When I find myself in times of trouble/Mother Mary comes to me,/ Speaking words of wisdom/Let it be.

5. Let it be today means LEAVE ME ALONE.

6. Let me be.

7. Take my life and let it be.

8. Leave it as it is.

9. Don't mess with it, God, or anyone else.

2. Cooperate: -verb (used without object), -ated, -ating.

1. to work or act together or jointly for a common purpose or benefit.

2. to work or act with another or other persons willingly and agreeably.

3. to practice economic cooperation.

3. The word cooperation does not appear in the Bible.

1. The concept is there in a number of references.

1. Jesus said in Matthew 11:29-30

   ²⁹Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light," (Matthew 11:29-30, NRSVA).

2. Paul writes in Philippians 2:12-13, NRSVA

¹²Therefore, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed me, not only in my presence, but much more now in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling; ¹³for it is God who is at work in you, enabling you both to will and to work for his good pleasure, (Philippians 2:12-13, NRSVA).

2. Unfortunately the word is not cooperation, but submit.

4. But then how is the word to be used and understood?

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3. Maybe there is some help in the notes to the insert in your worship folder

1. What do the introduction and the notes have to tell us?

Hang onto your hats; there's a good chance this will be a controversial sermon. But don't be afraid of controversy itself or of strong differences of opinion. Try to present an atmosphere of openness and willingness to hear all sides. However, don't be afraid to ask people to root their contentions in the passage.

1. Your purpose is to see what Paul says here and not to bring in a myriad of outside resources and opinions.

2. You may want to remind everyone before you start to stick to the passage!

2. We suggest that you make it clear that when a question is addressed to women and when it is addressed to men.

1. Do not allow one sex to speak for or to evaluate the other.

2. This is consistent with the fact that Paul addresses husbands and wives separately.

3. Note that Ephesians 5:22-24 is instructions to wives on how they are to conduct themselves in marriage.

1. It is not instructions to husbands on how they are to make their wives behave or on what they have a right to expect as husbands.

4. Likewise Ephesians 5:25-30 is instructions to husbands in how they are to conduct themselves in marriage.

1. It is not instructions to wives on how they are to make their husbands behave or on what they have a right to expect as wives.

2. Paul emphasizes the responsibilities of each and makes no comment on the rights of either.

5. Thus it is hoped that in questions 5, 9 and 12 men do not respond if women were addressed or vice versa.

1. The intent is for both to consider for themselves what their responsibilities are and how to respond.

6. Paul's instructions for both husbands and wives are given in the context of mutual submission (Ephesians 5:21), though Paul sees this acted out in different ways.

1. Submission in either case, however, is counting others better than yourself.

2. Paul calls on both husbands and wives to do this--husbands especially submitting to their wives by loving them and sacrificing whatever is necessary, to meet their needs;

3. wives especially submitting to their husbands by respecting them and honoring them as their head (see questions 11-12).

7. Question 11. In Ephesians 5:33 Paul summarizes the different responsibilities of each spouse.

1. Perhaps the reason for the difference is that while all human beings need both love and respect,

1. women tend to feel more need for love,

2. and men tend to feel more need for respect.

3. Likewise it is often easier for women to give love

4. and for men to give respect.

2. So Paul focuses on the tougher assignment for each and on giving what the other needs most.

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4. So what we have, essentially, is a mutual admiration society.

1. Marriage ought to be mutual admiration society.

2. Mutual Admiration Society ⁽²⁾

1. This is not an idiomatic understanding as in:

A group of two or more people, in a workplace or other social environment, who routinely express considerable esteem and support for one another, sometimes to the point of exaggeration or pretense.

Those two are incessantly flattering one another. They've formed an utterly nauseating mutual admiration society!

2. It is a genuine relationship of mutuality that brings all of life into a positive and constructive perspective.

5. If Marriage is to be a mutual admiration society, What ought it to include?

1. Mutual trust: Where Have You Been? ⁽³⁾

1. Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands.

When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset. "You're running around with other women!" she charged.

"You're being unreasonable," Adam responded. "You're the only woman on earth."

The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest. It was Eve.

"What do you think you're doing?" Adam demanded.

"Counting your ribs," said Eve.

2. Trust is based on communication.

3. It is important to let the other know where you are and what you are doing.

4. Each may have their own interests.

5. It is best to stay informed.

2. Mutual respect: Not For Lunch ⁽⁴⁾

1. My husband retired, and for the first time in over 40 years I had to think about preparing midday meals.

2. Tired of it after several months, I said, "I married you for better or worse, but not for lunch."

"Fair enough. From now on I'll make my own," he replied.

A few weeks later he had to go downtown on business and invited me to join him afterwards.

"We could have lunch at that Chinese place we both like," he suggested.

I happily agreed. At the restaurant the next day we were seated, and the waiter came to take our order.

My husband looked up, a twinkle in his eyes and said, "Separate checks, please..."

3. Is this mutual respect?

4. Or is the husband making his point too pointedly?

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3. Mutual goals: A Six Funny ⁽⁵⁾

1. A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday.

2. "I'd love to be six again," she replied.

On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear--everything there was! Wow!

Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Right to McDonald's they went, where her husband ordered her a Big Mac along with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie - the latest Star Wars epic, and hot dogs, popcorn, Pepsi Cola, and M&Ms. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed.

He leaned over and lovingly asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being six again?"

One eye opened. "You idiot, I meant my dress size!"