April 3, Communion Sunday, Daylight Savings Time Begins

Lesson: Matthew 18.15-20

Sermon Title: Emergency Management Skills

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INTRODUCTION:

I titled this sermon Emergency Management Skills.

It ought to have been titled: Conflict Management Skills.

I will be true to the concept, but perhaps not to the title.

Phyllis McGinley has a poem entitled "How to Start a War" (1) that reminds us that we often prefer to "fight our way out" rather than "pray our way in." It is based on a conversation between two 16th-century leaders of the Protestant Reformation, Ulrich Zwingli and Thomas Muntzer, who fought one another over whether to baptize by sprinkling (Zwingli) or by total immersion (Muntzer).

Said Zwingli to Muntzer,
"I'll have to be blunt, sir,
I don't like your version of Total Immersion.
And since God's on my side,
And I'm on the dry side,
You'd better swing ovah
To me and Jehovah."
Cried Muntzer. "It's schism,
This infant baptism.
Since I've had a sign, sir,
That God's will is mine, sir,
Let all men agree,
With Jehovah and me,
Or go to hell, singly,"
Said Muntzer to Zwingli,
As each drew his sword
On the side of the Lord.

  1. This appears to be a significant disagreement.

  2. Sometimes disagreements are not so profound.

Approximately two weeks into his freedom, Gulliver makes the acquaintance of Reldresal, the Principal Secretary of Private Affairs. Reldresal openly visits Gulliver in his house, and instead of asking Gulliver to lay down so that he may speak into his ear, he requests to be held in Gulliver's hands, so that they may speak eye to eye. Reldresal recounts the political history of Lilliput to Gulliver, explaining the two opposing governing parties of Tramecksan and Slamecksan, and furthermore, about the source of feud between neighboring empire Blefuscu and Lilliput. The war between the two empires has gone on for six and thirty moons because of an edict starting by the king's grandfather on how to break an egg. According to Lilliputian law, people must break an egg by its small end. However, those who believe or desire to break an egg at its big end (the Big-Endians), continue to try, finding death or exile. Although Reldresal believes that it should be the prerogative of each individual Lilliputian on how to break an egg, he confesses that some 11,000 Lilliputians have lost their lives trying to change the law. The exiled Big-Endians find refuge in Blefuscu, yielding the war that continually ensues on the land. Lilliputians continue to lose ships and men because of the mandate, and Reldresal requests Gulliver's aid in the perpetual battle. Gulliver complies: "I desired the Secretary to present my humble duty to the Emperor, and to let him know, that I thought it would not become me, who was a foreigner, to interfere with parties; but I was ready, with the hazard of my life, to defend his person and state against all invaders" Book 1, Chapter 4, pg. 86.

    1. Swift is using satire to portray the culture and society of his day.

    2. This appears to be a trivial disagreement yet it is often the source of violent action.

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MAIN BODY:

Two children were in the kitchen fighting over the one orange in the house. (2)

Each needed the orange for a recipe. Mom came in, saw the problem, and with great apparent wisdom, cut that orange in two and handed one half to one, one half to the other. No one was satisfied. If only someone had listened. You see, one recipe called for the meat of the orange, the other called for the skin. BOTH could have had what they wanted...if only anyone had bothered to listen.

Learn to listen to one another, to value one another's feelings and opinions, as a foretaste of heaven itself, where everyone will be heard perfectly.

Would that be something? We might not be rich. We might not have great crowds. We might not sing very well. We might not look very successful in the world's eyes. But if we could listen to one another, and love one another with our hearing, that would be something, wouldn't it?

  1. It often takes more than listening.

    1. It takes action.

    2. This is what Jesus is proclaiming.

  2. First of all you and I have to admit that there is a conflict.

Some years ago I acquired 24 Ways to Better Communication by Dr. Thomas R. Nilser, (3) Department of Speech, University of Washington, Seattle, Washington

Number 3 on the list is: "No matter what we say or how we say it, no one else gets quite the meaning we intend from the words we use. By the same token, we never get quite the meaning anyone else intends."

Number 10 on the list is: "Misunderstandings are inevitable, and therefore the kind of atmosphere needs to be created that will encourage people to ask questions when they don't fully understand."

    1. So what do you do?

    2. Follow the legacy of Jesus.

  1. First principle: "If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If the member listens to you, you have regained that one."

    1. You have to go.

      1. You may not want to go.

      2. You may use all kinds of rationalizations for not going.

In their book Sacred Bull: The Inner Obstacles That Hold You Back at Work and How to Overcome Them (New York: John Wiley & Sons, 1994), Albert J. Bernstein and Sydney Craft Rozen list these ten Sacred Bulls as the key assumptions we live by that are wrong for the new world. The rest of the book explicates each one of these Sacred Bulls.

        1. Denial: I don't see the problem so it isn't there.

        2. Blind Spots and Shortcuts: What I don't like can't be important.

        3. Self-Interest: Always look out for Number One.

        4. Mind Reading: People should know what I want without being told.

        5. Blame: If something goes wrong, it has to be somebody's fault.

        6. Being Nice: Avoid conflict at all cost.

        7. Perfection: If it's not perfect, it's nothing.

        8. Fairness: I don't need to negotiate for what I want; I just want fairness.

        9. Excuses: There's always a good reason why I don't follow the rules everyone else works by.

        10. Being Right: There's a right way and a wrong way; my way is right.

    1. You can sweep it under the rug.

      1. The pile is going to get rather high.

      2. You will be stumbling over it.

    2. You can attempt to ignore it.

      1. It will eat away at you and in time there will be a significant eruption.

      2. That will blast the irritation and probably destroy relationships.

    3. You can hope that it will go away.

      1. It will not go away.

I was in conversation with a pastor who was accused of violating confidentiality.

He had worked with couple on various boards and committees and other activities of the congregation.

He had spent a lot of time visiting the mother of the woman and the couple when mother was ill, and even officiated at the funeral of the woman's mother.

There arose an occasion when the accusation was made that was 16 years after the alleged incident.

Fortunately the accusation was untrue, there was corroborating evidence.

    1. If you do not go what does that say about you and the other person.

      1. Does it have anything to do with the capacity to love?

      2. If I do not go do I really love myself?

    2. To go may require a personal evaluation of the situation and what can be done about it.

Gene Perret, in Using Humor for Effective Business Speaking, tells a marvelous story that emphasizes the creative skills that helped to resolve a serious difficulty.

A man was traveling on a coast-to-coast non-stop flight that was being terrorized by a five-year-old youngster. The boy ran up and down the aisles disrupting business people who were doing paper work, waking those who were sleeping, tearing headsets off of people who were trying to listen to music. (4)

The passengers were desperate. They suggested that he be locked up somewhere, that he be bound and gagged, that the parents be arrested--anything to make their trip more pleasant.

Finally, this one gentleman spoke to the flight attendant who spoke to the flight crew. They made room for the boy in the first seat on the plane, and with some creativity, fashioned a steering wheel from a plate, a rudder from some sort of stick, and several other flying instruments from different odds and ends.

Then the pilot came back and asked the lad if he would help him fly the plane. The kid was delighted. He sat up front with the pilot next to him and was "taught" how to fly.

The pilot excused himself and left the boy in charge of "flying" the plane the rest of the way. The boy enthusiastically and reasonably quietly piloted the plane into a safe landing at San Francisco.

Many of the passengers thanked the gentleman for his ingenuity. One asked how he ever thought of it.

The man said, "You were all trying to solve your problem. I tried to solve the boy's."

      1. You were all trying to solve your problem.

      2. I tried to solve the boy's problem.

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  1. Second Principle: "But if you are not listened to, take one or two others along with you, so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses."

    1. Mediation may be necessary

Even the best things we do have something in them to be repented and confessed. Every one of us has mixed motives. There are no totally pure actions or attitudes. All of us find ourselves in the isness-oughtness bind that poet Louis MacNeice talks about in these lines:

None of our hearts are pure,
 we always have mixed motives,
 Are self-deceivers ...

    1. If there is any possibility of self-deception, then the presence of the two or three will help to dissolve it.

  1. Third Principle: "If the member refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church."

    1. Do not tell it to the courts.

    2. As good as our judicial system is, they are not in a position to settle spiritual disputes.

    3. How do you tell it to the church?

      1. You use the testimony of the two or three witnesses.

      2. People who are knowledgeable and skilled in conflict resolution.

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  1. Fourth Principle: "If the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

    1. How do you treat a Gentile or a tax collector.

      1. Jesus said in another place:

27"But I say to you that listen, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. 29If anyone strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also; and from anyone who takes away your coat do not withhold even your shirt. 30Give to everyone who begs from you; and if anyone takes away your goods, do not ask for them again. 31Do to others as you would have them do to you, (Luke 6:27-31, NRSVA).

      1. Paul writes in Romans:

14Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. 15Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. 16Live in harmony with one another; do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly; do not claim to be wiser than you are. 17Do not repay anyone evil for evil, but take thought for what is noble in the sight of all. 18If it is possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. 19Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave room for the wrath of God; for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord." 20No, "if your enemies are hungry, feed them; if they are thirsty, give them something to drink; for by doing this you will heap burning coals on their heads." 21Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good, (Romans 12:14-21, NRSVA).

    1. Humm! That does not leave any wiggle room.

  1. Finally there is the option of Church Discipline.

"Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven."

    1. This is a rather foreign custom in today's church.

    2. It is sometimes necessary.

      1. It ought never to be harsh.

      2. It always ought to be loving and kind.

    3. But sometimes the necessary step of revoking privileges or membership is necessary.

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CONCLUSION

  1. So if we follow all the rules, then what?

    1. We are walking in the footsteps of Jesus and the Disciples.

    2. When I moved to Janesville in 1970 I joined Apathy Anonymous that was created by the then President of Norwood Mills.

    3. I do not remember his name, but I remember the principles of the Code of the People Who Care (5)

      1. Give a damn; show that you care by, attitude, word, and deed.

      2. Have the courage to improve whatever can be made better, rather than accept things as they are.

      3. Treat the customer and fellow men and women as you would like to be treated.

      4. Always respect the customer's intelligence but never over-estimate the customer's information.

      5. Do today's tasks today--never put off until tomorrow.

      6. Never pass the buck.

      7. Seek an answer to every question; never leave the customer in doubt.

      8. Take positive action whenever required; never wait for someone else to do it.

      9. Go a step beyond what is required to assure satisfaction.

      10. Follow up to make sure a job is well done.

    4. I took the above statements and revised them to apply to a congregation:

    5. I call it Code of the People Who Do Good

      1. Live in the present; you cannot change the past only influence the future.

      2. Encourage goodness in others; show that you care by attitude, word and deed.

      3. Have the courage to improve whatever can be made better, rather than accepting things as they are.

      4. Treat all people as you would like to be treated.

      5. Always respect the other person's intelligence, but never overestimate another's information.

      6. Do what needs to be done today; finish what was not completed tomorrow.

      7. Accept responsibility.

      8. Seek an answer to every question, when there is no apparent answer learn to live with doubt until an answer may be found.

      9. Take positive action whenever required; never wait for someone else to do what needs to be done.

      10. Go the second mile to assure achievement of a goal or the completion of a project.

      11. Follow up to make sure that the task is well done.

    6. Sound principles, good advice, helpful hints that can be applied.

    7. It is not easy, but the results are so worth it!

1. "How to Start a War," Times Three, Selected Verse (New York: The Viking Press, 1960), 28.

2. David Leininger, in a sermon, "The real force be with you," Quoted in Homiletics, June 3, 2001, How Did These Guys Get So Smart? Used with permission.

3. Revised and Adapted by the Rev. Leslie R. Shultz, II, February 10, 1998

4. Gene Perret, USING HUMOR FOR EFFECTIVE BUSINESS SPEAKING (New York, Sterling Publishing Co., Inc., 1989).

5. Apathy Anonymous Copyright 1969, Norwood Mills, Inc Janesville, Wisconsin

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